Business Per Usual

It's business per usual here today at the office as I've turned off my individual mind in order to function properly in society. A mind that is telling me to "quick, get out, run for your life; for the sake of your soul; because here, in this business, this particular field will pick apart your will to live, it will suck your soul like a metaphorical vampire. Now, turn around and don't look back, never ever make that mistake of looking back and just leave ..." Corporate America, the devil's playground consisting of leaches, pigs, liars in suites, money grubbers, greed, filth, slime, slander, and worst of all, power. Power which drives a once stable man half insane and controls his morals, morals being a word I use loosely in this case. Day after day I wonder why I am still here, breathing in this air, gripping my soul as tight as I can, fear crawling through my veins at the thought of letting it accidentally slip at the sight of a paycheck; every other week it gets that much harder. Two years, two long years, institutionalized and somehow I've kept alive, somehow I didn't let the bitterness of the world around me set in completely, though my insides show signs of being stained with the filth of these four walls. Somehow I am still here, it makes me feel like such a coward; like I am incapable of moving towards something else because I have become so comfortable with the routine of every day and every lonely night pondering what my next move should be, pondering and always coming up short of a solid solution. I've got my soul, yes, but did they suck straight through to my brain? Was it a toss up between individual thinking and the souls? Did they blind side me with this unwritten ultimatum? Maybe I won my soul,  but is my brain gone for good? All the answers to the clouded hazy questions I ask become clear when I step off that train, when my foot hits suburbia's gravel and the city buildings leave my body. When I fall off that train step and lay until I can gather the strength to pick my lifeless self back up and walk on my own again. This is routine, every inch of it, every day, every fight and every battle, won or lost, it's a 9-5 Monday-Friday struggle through existence. My body has picked up auto-pilot to help me heal a little better. It takes the hits for me so I don't have to feel any of this isolated pain of wandering through all of this without any say.  Day after day after day. Hang on for the ride.